Cryptocurrencies Charged With Assault

Note from the Publisher:  Once again, our crack editorial team has unearthed the following (wholly fictional) tale about a cat fight between Bitcoin and Ethereum, with a commentary from the NBA. 

Bitcoin and Ethereum followers were stunned today when they learned that the two alternative currencies, Bitcoin and Ether, were arrested and charged with assault following an altercation at a local club last night. The police were called at 2:30am last night to the Pole Club where it seems the two “monies” were competing with each other over one of the dancers. Witnesses said Bitcoin and Ether got into a fight trying to stuff their virtual currency into the girl’s virtual “uniform”. Several NBA players also in the club said “those ‘coins’ were brutal. We ain’t never messing with them dudes”.

Being released hours later after posting a $250 (real cash) bail the two left quietly leaving followers to wonder which of the two cryptocurrencies would be dominant.