New Years Jokes for FintekNews Readers

FintekNews Friends, this is it!  The last in our holiday jokes series for a while, but we couldn’t resist one last fun story for you before the new year comes!

Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy & abundant 2017!!  Now for a few New Years giggles…..

“How you elect to spend New Year’s Eve will depend on your:
1. age
2. remaining levels of optimism
3. threshold of pain
– Joseph Connolly

Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?”
– Melanie White

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
– Bill Vaughan

On New Years, just remember: if your cup runneth over, you’ve probably reached your limit.
– Melanie White

My new year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to Auld Lang Syne.
– waitwait ‏@waitwait

New Year’s Eve, when auld acquaintances be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
– Jay Leno

Heartwarming Miami tradition: Asking people not to shoot guns into the air on New Year’s Eve.
– Dave Barry

Wait a second, there’s ANOTHER year? I have to do it all over again???
– Jake Vig ‏@Jake_Vig

I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
– Bridger Winegar @bridger_w

The first week of January, gyms and yoga classes everywhere are packed with people who made new years resolutions to tone up. It’s like sardines in there. Big sardines. But they’re all gone by February.
– Anonymous

Every New Years I resolve to lose 20 pounds, and I do. The problem is that I gain 30.
– Melanie White

My brother’s New Year’s resolution is to move out of my parents house. You’d think after 49 years he’d try another one.
– Wickedwordslinger ‏@StephenBCramer

My new years resolution is not to shovel snow. Since I’m gonna be in Florida, I feel pretty good about it.
– Greg Tamblyn

New Years parades have a lot in common with Santa Claus. Nobody is awake to see either one of them.
– Melanie White

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
– Ogden Nash

This New Years I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2nd.
– Melanie White”